This week, and today in particular, have been mentally exhausting. I had to prepare for a big presentation at work, which I gave this morning. The presentation went just fine and was very well received by my audience. But it resulted in a decision that will involve big changes for my department in the coming months, and so the mental exhaustion is really just beginning.
This week I’ve been listening to Audio Adrenaline in my car, and one of the songs fits my situation just perfectly. It’s called “Underdog” and the first verse is:
I am so weak and I’m so tired
It’s hard for me to
Find enough strength to feed the fires
That fuel my ego
And consequently all my pride has all but died
Which leaves me
Down on my knees
Back to the place I
Should have started from
The stress of what has been going on at work has literally brought me to my knees in prayer every morning for the past two weeks. Now for some of you, that might not seem like a big deal, but for me it is huge.
Until we remodeled our house last year, we lived in 768 sq. ft. of very crowded space. My bedroom and home office were in the same very small 1941-style bedroom, and there was no place physically big enough for me to kneel to pray. And so I would always say to God that I had an attitude of kneeling in my heart, and that was good enough. When the space was not there, He didn’t argue with me on this point. But now that we have remodeled I have a very large new bedroom with soft new carpet, a reading chair and footstool, and plenty of open space and quiet to kneel and pray. Several weeks ago, God reminded me of this, and I again responded that I had an attitude of kneeling in my heart, and that was what really mattered. Turns out I was wrong, and He let me know as much.
So for the past two weeks I have been literally kneeling to pray. At first it was strange for me, but now I wouldn’t want to start my day any other way. It is the best place to draw upon God’s wisdom and strength for what will inevitably be an exhausting and stressful day. My attitude about work and the changes that are occurring has improved immensely. I am trusting God more that He is really in charge of the final outcome. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11.
Prayer is so important that I don’t know why I’ve neglected it at times in my life. I suspect there will be times in the future when I will neglect it again, though I will try not to. I want to remember that prayer is the perfect antidote for anxiety and worry. The apostle Paul wrote:
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7.
I love that idea of peace that transcends all understanding. I don’t have to know how it works that prayer brings me peace in situations where I would naturally feel stress and anxiety. All I have to know is that it works. If I pray, God will grant me peace. He will grant you peace, too, if only you will kneel and pray. As Audio Adrenaline sings, this is the place we should have started from.