Sin once held me in darkness
separated from Your glory
unaware of Your mercy
But from sin I now am free
You set me free
Sin once made me a failure
alienated from Your story
ignorant of Your grace
But over sin I now have victory
You gave me victory
For quite some time I’ve wanted to write a sestina, but I was intimidated by the complex structure of this poetry form. I finally decided to give it a try as part of my 40 poems for Lent. It was a challenge but well worth the effort, I think. I am excited that I was able to finish it in time to post it for today so that I can share it at dVerse Poets Pub Open Link Night later today.
Undeserving
Of Your sweet grace I feel undeserving
Feelings are not the source of Your mercy
I can’t comprehend the depth of Your love
When I allow other things to be lord
Settle for what the world has to offer
I am chasing after earthly things still
I long for my heart and soul to be still
Turmoil hems in thoughts I’m undeserving
Quieting turmoil is Your grand offer
The utmost above all gifts Your mercy
I can’t comprehend why You love me, Lord
But the heart of Your character is love
The chief desire of the human heart love
In a world filled with things we seek it still
We miss that You are the source of all, Lord
When we don’t earn we feel undeserving
Yet freely, as a great gift You offer
Each of us unearned, undeserved mercy
I have nothing of worth I can offer
I cannot fathom the value of love
I cannot grasp the worth of Your mercy
Longing for Your peace to calm my heart still
Still knowing I am so undeserving
Yet knowing in my heart You love me, Lord
Satan still seeks over me to be lord
Claiming he has more than You to offer
Reminding me I am undeserving
Of what I require most—Your grace and love
Faintly I hear Your beautiful voice still
In faith I reach for Your amazing mercy
I praise You, dear Jesus, for Your mercy
For eternity my beloved, my Lord
When I was gone astray You loved me still
I delight in grace You freely offer
I need naught else because I have Your love
You never make me feel undeserving
Lord, I am undeserving
but still You love me
and offer mercy
Last Thursday at dVerse Poets Pub‘s Form For All Samuel Peralta taught us about the ghazal form of poetry. I wrote one for linking up there on Thursday and I liked the form so much I decided to write another. This one has 6 couplets, so it’s still not the ghazal sonnet that Samuel wrote about and gave an example of. My first version also has no set meter, but I decided to do a second version cutting it to have 8 syllables per line, trying for some semblance of meter. I suspect my meter still isn’t perfect, though, as I have a hard time with this concept. I can count syllables, but I know there is more to meter than that. The idea of stressed and non-stressed syllables simply escapes me.
I also didn’t end these with my name in the last line. Anyway, I would be interested to know which version readers think works better and why.
Upon the Cross – Version 1
Bloody and bruised, ringed by thorns
I gaze up to Your lovely face upon the cross
Forgiveness for mockers and spear wielder
to all the same Your grace upon the cross
There I should be, my punishment
Your mercy took my place upon the cross
Running, running fast to the finish line
but You already won the race upon the cross
I’m always two strides behind the lead
but You, for me, kept the pace upon the cross
My guilt and shame by love replaced
so that now there is no trace upon the cross
Upon the Cross – Version 2
Bloody and bruised, brow ringed by thorns
Your lovely face upon the cross
Forgiveness for the mockers
to all Your grace upon the cross
There I should be, my punishment
You took my place upon the cross
Running fast to the finish line
You won the race upon the cross
Always two strides behind the lead
but You keep pace upon the cross
My guilt and shame by love replaced
there is no trace upon the cross
I’ve been reading Max Lucado’s new book Grace. A passage from Chapter 7, Coming Clean with God, has really stuck with me even though I’ve moved on to Chapter 9. In the back of my mind has been a “found” poem based on this passage. Then today I went to dVerse Poets Pub to see what the poetry prompt was for the day. The challenge was to write about growing up. I decided to connect the two because what better evidence of growing up is there than finally coming clean with God? The italicized portions are direct quotes from Grace, page 85.
As My Spirit Grows
Childhood, young adulthood
A time when wild oats are sown
Rules are broken, trouble is found
Either to get into or be the victim of
Guilt lies hidden beneath the surface,
festering, irritating.
Sometimes so deeply embedded
you don’t know the cause.
You become moody, cranky.
You’re prone to overreact.
You’re angry, irritable.
You can be touchy, you know.
Understandable, since you have a shank
of shame lodged in your soul
For all those wild oats that have sprouted
Even where the sun does not shine
There comes a time to come clean
To grow up and leave wild oats behind
Seek the Healer of the soul
Who forgives and removes shame
Don’t make this inward journey
without God. There is no inner peace unless you
Let Him apply grace to the wounds
To the irritability and anger of your soul
This morning as I was listening to music on my iPod the song Trust in Jesus came on and I started to think about standing before God’s judgment throne. Paul confirmed what is written all throughout the Old Testament, that everyone, even Christians, will face God’s judgment.
For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat.
It is written:
“‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord,
‘every knee will bow before me;
every tongue will confess to God.’”
So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.
Romans 14:11-12 (NIV).
It occurred to me that as much as I appreciate what Jesus has done for me now, it will only be as I face the judgment throne of God that I will be able to fully appreciate the magnitude of His grace. Just as Solomon did, “I thought in my heart, ‘God will bring to judgment both the righteous and the wicked, for there will be a time for every activity, a time for every deed.’” Ecclesiastes 3:17 (NIV). Perhaps it is to fulfill His promise to bring us great joy and blessing that God will reveal, at the end of our days, how much He truly loves us. Only by revealing our great need for His redemption can He make us understand.
Before the Throne
I stand before the throne of God
He opens His book to my list of sins
His messenger begins to read
my transgressions, one by one
In my mind I begin to prepare
my defense, my justification for each sin
I think I am ready to answer
to show that I deserve mercy
The list goes on and on and on
Will it ever end?
My justifications begin to fade
My heart grows weak with shame
How can I stand before His throne
the judgment throne of the Almighty
I tremble in fear of His wrath, His righteous judgment
I know it will destroy me, I cannot stand
I fall to my knees before His throne
I bow my head knowing His judgment is true
Realizing I have no defense
I have broken every commandment, every law
without a single justification
Suddenly before the throne
between me and God’s final judgment
Stands the One who came to save me
His mercy and grace pour over me
I remember with great joy
that while I was yet a sinner
He loved me, He redeemed my soul
I trusted in Him and He is faithful to forgive
Before the throne of judgment and grace
I lift my voice in praise and adoration
Finally understanding completely
What His great love has accomplished
1/8/13: Shared this for Open Link Night at dVerse Poets Pub today.
Each year WordPress provides me with an annual report of my blogging activity for the past year. Included in the top five posts of 2012 was an article titled Forgiveness that I wrote for my church newsletter and was the second thing I posted when I started this blog in September 2009. I realized that the subject of forgiveness is timeless and so I decided to write more posts on that topic in 2013. I am starting with this poem about how forgiveness leads to freedom from despair.
Forgiveness Set Me Free to Love
Anger tethered me to the past
holding on strong, holding me back
imprisoned in a dungeon of my own making
Deceived into believing
the walls had been built by another
solid walls I could not escape
Blame fostered thoughts of revenge
of justice for the transgressor
as the Accuser spurred me on
The future seemed a blur
of decades in darkness and woe
with no hope of joy or love
Then through tiny cracks
in the walls of my misery
a light shone, beckoning me escape
The light whispered in the darkness
Forgive and let go
Leave justice to Me
It seemed too simple
and yet to forgive was impossible
without the light to show the way
I could bear the darkness no more
the anger had made me weary
the hatred was draining all life
Trusting the light
I chose to forgive, even the unforgivable
I clung to love instead of hatred
Like the walls of Jericho
the prison of my despair
crumbled and fell at His word
Forgiveness set me free
to live and to love in peace
with hope for my future in view
As this poem began to form in my mind, I thought of the families of the 20 children who were killed in Newtown, Connecticut. These children are now in heaven with Jesus and have no need of lessons on forgiveness. But the families left behind to mourn their loss will need to learn to forgive the troubled young man who perpetrated the evil that took their children away from them.
The natural reaction will be anger and hatred, but unless those feelings give way to forgiveness these families will be trapped in a dungeon of despair. They will need the light and love of God to free them. My prayer for them is that they will be able to trust the Light of Christ to tear down the walls of anger and to ensure true justice prevails.
Earlier this week during my morning prayer time I read a wonderful passage from Paul’s letter to the Ephesians. This passage is one of my favorite prayers in the Bible:
For this reason I kneel before the Father,from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:14-19 (NIV).
At the time I thought about how this passage would be a great basis for a blog post reminding people how much God loves them, but the week got away from me and the post didn’t get written. Today, following the tragedies in Portland, Oregon (so close to my home) and in Connecticut, I realize that God’s timing is perfect because this passage holds the answer so many are looking for as to how someone could do such an evil thing as shoot strangers in a mall or kindergarteners in a school, not to mention their own mother.
Throughout scripture we are told that the heart of mankind is evil. The reason we are told God flooded the earth and saved only Noah and his family is because “The LORD saw how great man’s wickedness on the earth had become, and that every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil all the time.” Genesis 6:5 (NIV). Of one of the kings of Israel it is said, “He did evil because he had not set his heart on seeking the Lord.” 2 Chronicles 12:14 (NIV). As Jesus explained to His disciples, “For from within, out of men’s hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. 23 All these evils come from inside and make a man ‘unclean.’” Mark 7:22-23 (NIV).
But the heart that grasps the love of Christ is filled with the fullness of God. In such a heart evil thoughts are driven out by love and compassion. In this world we live in, and especially in the United States, people think they can live without God. Many don’t teach their children that God loves them, perhaps because they don’t know this wonderful truth themselves, and then we are surprised when children grow up to be murderers.
The problem that leads to such tragedies as we have seen this week is not that people have guns, it is that they do not have Christ. I realize that there are plenty of people who do not believe in or know God who do not go out and murder others, but I also know that those who commit such unspeakable acts cannot possibly know God’s love for them.
The love of Christ is kind of like a vaccine. We give vaccines to all our kids to prevent them from getting terrible diseases, even though not every kid would get the disease if the vaccine was not given. We need to vaccinate all our children against the evil that has the potential to take over their hearts, and that vaccine is the heart knowledge of the love of God that surpasses human knowledge.
As Christians, we need to pray not only for those who have suffered a great tragedy, but we need to pray every day—as Paul did for the Ephesians—for our children to have the power “to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.”
For many people, Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without Santa Claus. As soon as Thanksgiving is over, they start looking forward to Jolly Old St. Nick bringing presents to all the good little boys and girls. Every shopping mall has a Santa Claus waiting for long lines of children to sit on his lap and tell him what they want for Christmas. I’ve even known people whose only Christmas decorations in their homes are Santa themed.
Now I will admit that I have a few Santa Claus decorations and we do hang stockings to be opened on Christmas morning. We even label some family gifts as “from Santa.” The spirit of giving that surrounds Santa Claus—which started with the very first real St. Nicholas who gave presents to needy children—is wonderful.
But there is a problem with Santa Claus. The whole idea of a Jolly Old Elf bringing presents only to good boys and girls contradicts the Gospel message of Christmas. We are reminded in Christmas songs that Santa “knows if you’ve been bad or good,” and if you are bad all you get is a lump of coal.
This is the story of most major religions—that if we are good enough we will earn whatever it is we want most.
Jesus tells a different story. Immanuel, God with us, came because He loves us all whether we are good or bad. He offers salvation and eternal life to all. It’s a free gift and all we have to do is accept it to be on His list.
Santa’s list of who’s naughty and who’s nice might seem to work for making kids be good. But long ago God showed that the threat of punishment or withholding of blessings doesn’t work to make people do what is right. “For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering.” Romans 8:3 (NIV).
That is why for me Christmas isn’t Christmas without the Christ child and most of my Christmas decorations are nativity scenes. And my favorite Christmas songs aren’t about Santa Claus but are old standards like O Come O Come Emmanuel, O Holy Night, and Mary Did You Know?
Which is why today I want to share Jeremy Camp’s rendition of that last of these on his recently released Christmas CD.
My favorite of all the apostles is John. I love his enthusiasm and his love for Jesus and the fellow believers he encountered. Of the four Gospels, John is my favorite, but I also love his epistles.
Most of all, I love his witness. He begins his first epistle like this:
We proclaim to you the one who existed from the beginning, whom we have heard and seen. We saw him with our own eyes and touched him with our own hands. He is the Word of life. This one who is life itself was revealed to us, and we have seen him. And now we testify and proclaim to you that he is the one who is eternal life. He was with the Father, and then he was revealed to us. We proclaim to you what we ourselves have actually seen and heard so that you may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ. 1 John 1:1-3 (NLT).
When I read this passage I can hear the excitement in his voice and the truth of what he shares is reinforced over and over by his reminder that he was an actual witness to the life and glory of Jesus Christ. He walked with Jesus, saw Him perform miracles and healings, stood nearby as He died on the cross, and then experienced firsthand the joy of the resurrected Christ. John isn’t retelling some story he has heard; he is telling us what he knows to be true.
John is a great example of what we are also called to do. It is true that I did not walk the earth with Jesus, I did not personally witness Him crucified, and I did not share grilled fish with Him after His resurrection. But I can still be a witness of my experience with Him.
Jesus is my Savior. He has given me His Holy Spirit to comfort me when I am hurting; to give me understanding of His Word; to help me be kind, gentle, loving, forgiving, and self-controlled; and to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am loved by God.
My relationship with Jesus is different than John’s was in many ways, but it is very real and I am just as excited about what I have heard and seen. I am a witness to His wonderful saving grace.
How about you? Have you experienced the blessing of Jesus in your life? Then share your joy and excitement as a witness of God’s love revealed in Christ.
But you are not like that, for the Holy One has given you his Spirit, and all of you know the truth. 1 John 2:20 (NLT).
This morning in church we had the founder of Global Eye Mission speak about his experiences as a medical missionary and how he has seen the provision of medical care to those in need open doors to share the gospel where it would never have been received otherwise. He told the story of when he was called to be part of a mission team in Tanzania.
He went to a predominantly Muslim village where evangelists of the Gospel regularly had stones thrown at them and where a Muslim converting to Christianity would typically experience death threats often carried out. His role was as an ophthalmologist who performed numerous cataract surgeries that restored sight to people who had been blind for years.
After several days of providing this much-needed medical aid, he attended a gathering at which the evangelist in the group presented a bold statement of the Gospel of grace. He remembered thinking that surely this was going to cause a riot and some stones being thrown. But instead, when asked if they would like to learn more about Christ, dozens of Muslims in the audience raised their hands.
Last week we had another missionary give our sermon message. He and his wife were involved full time with Eastern European Missions. His emotional and moving story of how this organization brings light into a world darkened by three generations of communism and atheism was incredible.
He shared how this whole mission had been started by a church in a small town in northern Minnesota that invited some teachers and students from Russia to visit them. By showing these people love and care, they were able to pave the way for the Gospel to be shared where it was illegal for so many years.
These missionaries are examples of people who have given up a comfortable life here in the United States to go out to a world in need of both creature comforts and the message of salvation through Jesus Christ. It is a challenging life, to be sure. But when you hear missionaries like this speak it is easy to see that the reward they receive is well worth the sacrifice.
As I listened to the Global Eye Mission speaker this morning, I wondered to myself why it is so hard for me to share with those close to me what these missionaries travel halfway around the world to share. They show incredible courage as they face possible persecution and death at every turn, going into places violently hostile to the Gospel. Why then do I lack the courage to share the love of Christ and His offer of forgiveness of sins with my own family and friends who don’t know Him?
Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?”
And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”
Isaiah 6:8 (NIV).
