Tag Archives: Ghazal poem

Upon the Cross – A Ghazal in Two Versions

Last Thursday at dVerse Poets Pub‘s Form For All Samuel Peralta taught us about the ghazal form of poetry. I wrote one for linking up there on Thursday and I liked the form so much I decided to write another. This one has 6 couplets, so it’s still not the ghazal sonnet that Samuel wrote about and gave an example of. My first version also has no set meter, but I decided to do a second version cutting it to have 8 syllables per line, trying for some semblance of meter. I suspect my meter still isn’t perfect, though, as I have a hard time with this concept. I can count syllables, but I know there is more to meter than that. The idea of stressed and non-stressed syllables simply escapes me.

I also didn’t end these with my name in the last line. Anyway, I would be interested to know which version readers think works better and why.

Upon the Cross – Version 1

Bloody and bruised, ringed by thorns
I gaze up to Your lovely face upon the cross

Forgiveness for mockers and spear wielder
to all the same Your grace upon the cross

There I should be, my punishment
Your mercy took my place upon the cross

Running, running fast to the finish line
but You already won the race upon the cross

I’m always two strides behind the lead
but You, for me, kept the pace upon the cross

My guilt and shame by love replaced
so that now there is no trace upon the cross

 

Upon the Cross – Version 2

Bloody and bruised, brow ringed by thorns
Your lovely face upon the cross

Forgiveness for the mockers
to all Your grace upon the cross

There I should be, my punishment
You took my place upon the cross

Running fast to the finish line
You won the race upon the cross

Always two strides behind the lead
but You keep pace upon the cross

My guilt and shame by love replaced
there is no trace upon the cross

 

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My Beautiful – A Ghazal

The Form for All lesson over at dVerse Poets Pub today is on the ghazal and Samuel Peralta’s ghazal sonnet. I immediately found it to be a very interesting poetry form and decided to try writing one. Mine is not a sonnet because it is more than 14 lines, and I didn’t pay any attention to meter. The refrain I settled on is “my Beautiful,” which refers both to the fact that Jesus is my Beautiful Savior and that I am His Beautiful child (since my first name is Spanish for beautiful).

My Beautiful

In my lost and wandering youth
my soul did flee my Beautiful

During numberless crazy times
I saw only me, my Beautiful

In the darkness of past days
I could nary see my Beautiful

Take this cup of grief from me
I echo Your adamant plea, my Beautiful

With joy I did learn of Your sacrifice
on the cursed tree, my Beautiful

I knew in my heart of hearts
Your grace is the key, my Beautiful

Alive and found by My love
Your soul set free my Beautiful

My greatest desire for all my days
is to glorify thee, my Beautiful

In Your strong and lovely voice
You call me Linda Lee, my Beautiful

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