Tag Archives: Family

Daddy Isn’t Here

Daddy isn’t here anymore
He left this world before my son was born
Yet I see him each day in the heart of my son
The length of his arms and the smile I adore

We didn’t follow Daddy to the church
When he was gone no one read God’s Word
We didn’t sing his favorite hymn
Or even lay him in the ground

The Coast Guard poured him into the sea
There’s no grave to visit for you and me
Just memories of his loving ways
Stories to tell that keep him alive in our hearts

The mad money he sent to my college mailbox
The times he rescued his four daughters from car troubles
The smile on his face when he saw me baptized
Memories of when we sometimes didn’t agree

Daddy isn’t here anymore
He’ll never come again and knock on my door
But one day we’ll see him again, waiting at God’s door
Until that day we’ll miss him, you and I

* * * * *

The Poetics prompt at dVerse Poets Pub yesterday was to write about someone or something we miss. I immediately thought of my dad. I’ve been missing him especially lately as I’ve been listening to (and went to the concert of) Chris Stapleton who sings a song called “Daddy Doesn’t Pray Anymore.” I can’t hear that song without crying and missing my dad. Parts of this poem are inspired by that song as well as conversations I had with my oldest sister this past week.


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Sixty Years

Celebrating newfound love
Your vows were never to betray
Blessed together by God above
Sixty years ago today

Many years of abiding grace
Have followed that blessed day
A life begun in love’s embrace
Sixty years ago today

As we honor husband and wife
Years unending so we pray
Bound together in eternal life
Sixty years ago today

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I’ll Call Her Cindy Lou

Someone said to name her
so I’ll call her Cindy Lou
It doesn’t take away the shame
of what I can’t undo

But now she seems more human
not just a cause for strife
Perhaps her death will matter
and save another life

Now I have a daughter
not just a memory of pain
She grew my heart three sizes
so God’s grace it can contain



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Blessings of Boldness

Being bold and courageous is hard and sometimes risky, but it’s always worth the risk. Last week when I posted my 6th Anniversary post, I mentioned that I was going to share on Monday about the blessings of being bold. But one of the two things I planned to share didn’t go as I had planned and so I didn’t write that post. After God added another blessing to the mix, I’m now ready to share.

Several weeks ago I wrote a post about my personal experience with Planned Parenthood. I was terrified to post it, but I did, on a Wednesday evening thinking no one would see it. That one little post ended up getting more views and shares in three days than I’ve ever had for any post. Some of my posts have been viewed more over the long haul, but never in such a short period of time.

Then, about a week later, I got a comment from Randy Alcorn (okay, it was from his media relations specialist) asking if he could re-blog that post. Of course I said yes, because being re-blogged by an author with his credentials is a great blessing for a relatively unknown author like me. Plus, it meant my story now has the potential to touch even more lives and be a blessing to others. His post including my re-blogged post went live on Monday here.

The next blessing came when I was bold and courageous to share my story in church this past Sunday. We are doing a sermon series on how God changes lives, and He has definitely changed mine. It was hard and risky to share my story, but it was well worth the risk. Afterwards I got lots of hugs, plus a few people who said they had been through something similar and that what I shared helped them. I also received some follow-up notes from some members of our church, including a handwritten note that came in the mail (those are my favorite kind).

I was all set to share the link to the audio of my testimony in my post on Monday, but it turned out that the recording got messed up and you couldn’t really hear it. There was a lot of static and my voice was so quiet that even when the static stopped for a second or two, you couldn’t hear me. I was so upset, because I knew there were people who had asked me to send them the link because they wanted to listen but weren’t able to come to our church that morning.

So, because I didn’t have the audio to share in this post, I had decided not to write it. Then I mentioned to my awesome husband that the audio had been messed up on my testimony and he replied, “I recorded it. It’s on my phone.” I was so happy and felt so blessed that he cared so much to have recorded it. I was able to upload it to SoundCloud and create the recording below.

And the triple blessing in all of this is that I discovered how easy it is to use SoundCloud and embed a SoundCloud clip into my blog, so now I can add audio readings of some of my poetry, too.

Anyway, the lesson for me this week is that God is good and often works to bless us even when we think He’s forgotten us or doesn’t care. That is the story of my life, but it’s also the story of the recording of my story. I was disappointed that He didn’t make sure the church recording of my testimony worked out, but He had a plan for me to see how much my husband loves me. And how much He loves me.

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In a Heartbeat, in a Flash

Kanzen is tending the bar today for Poetics at dVerse Poets Pub asking for poems on change. I went to a new favorite form, the Kyrielle, and decided to touch on a topic that’s been on my mind a lot lately. I wrote an in-depth post on my change of position from being staunchly pro-choice to resolutely pro-life in this post, but decided to condense the story into this poem.

In a Heartbeat, in a Flash

Out of nothing God created
Life in my womb that was sacred
A heartbeat for change was fated
Pro-choice to pro-life in a flash

There once was a life unwanted
Another small heartbeat undaunted
Reminder to my heart haunted
Pro-choice to pro-life in a flash

Mourning the loss of the second
Remember the first, God beckoned
Repent, your sin may be reckoned
Pro-choice to pro-life in a flash


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The Wedding Is Only the Beginning

Today is the first Haibun Monday at dVerse Poets Pub. We were supposed to keep the prose portion of our haibun to two paragraphs and focus on nature. I started with nature but expanded my offering to God’s purpose for marriage.

The Wedding Is Only the Beginning

The sunlight trickled through the pine trees onto the wedding party dressed in sky blue and cream. It had been raining a mere 20 minutes earlier—always a risk for an outdoor wedding in the Pacific Northwest. But now everything was sunshine and smiles as the keyboardist played Here Comes the Sun while the flower girls held signs that said “Here comes your bride.” It was a reminder that into every life—and every marriage—both rain and sunshine will come.

Sitting in that sacred forest place, I was reminded of my own wedding 29-years-less-one-day before. My bridesmaid and the best man were dressed in sky blue, and the sun was shining that day, too, trickling through the stained glass windows of the church. There was no rain that day, but there’s been rain and storms since. But also plenty of beautiful, happy sunny days. Lots of love and grace and forgiveness. After all, a truly successful marriage—whether the wedding is outdoors or in—is the union of two people committed to actively loving one another and forgiving whenever necessary.

Say “I do” freely
with intent to forever
keep your promises


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Listen closely and you will hear
Conversations about anything
Family and friends who are dear
In the circle of chairs camping

Never a dearth of food to eat
“We brought skillet; what did you bring?”
Chips and hot dogs, salad and sweets
To the circle of chairs camping

Smoke is wafting, upwind I sit
Blazing hot in the fire ring
Crackling logs perfectly split
In the circle of chairs camping

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The Philosophy of Choice

The prompt at dVerse Poets Pub yesterday was offered by Brian Miller, back from a 5-month break from the pub. During his absence, he took a philosophy class and so is calling us to write about philosophy, with the requirement that our poem be titled “The Philosophy of ______” or “A Philosophy of ______.”

When I first read the prompt, I thought of writing something lighthearted and funny. The title “The Philosophy of Dogs” came to mind, but that’s as far as I got with that idea. I remembered that Bjorn once commented on one of my poems that my writing is better when I write from the heart. Although I do love dogs, and mine in particular, what is really on my heart these days is something much more serious. And so this poem was conceived.

The Philosophy of Choice

The philosophy of choice says
that the convenience of one life
is equally as important as
the continued existence of another

I once bought into this philosophy
and  I chose convenience
I had my whole life ahead of me
my college plans, my career, my life

And so I chose my convenience
and her death

I thought I was justified because
the conception was not my choice
It was forced upon me and so
I shouldn’t have to be inconvenienced
by this life I didn’t want

It was supposed to be so simple, so easy
but no one told me about the regret
the shame and the anguish that would come
that would inconveniently lead to depression
stealing seven years of my life
coloring every day thereafter

The tears I’ve cried over that one choice
would drown a small army of giants
Perhaps I had to cry every tear
she never got the chance to cry

The time for choosing is long past
But if I had it to do over again
I would choose my inconvenience
and her life


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A Little about Me

Over at dVerse Poets Pub we’re celebrating the 4-year anniversary of the pub with Marina’s prompt that calls us to get to know each other a little better. Each poet is to pick six words—three that describe us and three that describe things or people we are grateful for. Then we are to write a poem of no more than twelve lines using those six words.

My words are: beloved, fearless, writer, grace, encouragement, beauty

A Little about Me

I know deep in my heart that I am beloved
for my God has told me so
His Word is my evidence
His grace is my proof

Once known as the fearful one
now I stand strong and fearless
Confident of my purpose, sure of my salvation
Thankful for the encouragement
of friends, family, and my God

I am a writer, not because I write, but simply because
I was created with a passion to share the beauty
of my Creator and His creation


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Vacation in the Sun


Weeks of planning precede a visit to paradise, to Maui, the Valley Isle. So much to see and so in so small an area of land nestled in the middle of the vast Pacific Ocean. Snorkeling is at the top of the activities list—the options seem endless: Molikini, Lana’i, Honolua Bay, Turtle Bay, and more; take a boat trip or drive to the beach and park. We picked boat trip to Lana’i—resulted in very little snorkeling due to high south swell. Who knew? At least there was a beautiful white sand beach.

Lāhainā—the cruel sun—beats down relentlessly, burning, charring tender skin exposed to its deceptively pleasant rays. Beautiful white sand beach entices the unwary traveler to bask in the warmth, float on the buoyant, gentle salt waves. Relaxation gives way to a little nap—a dangerous nap that steals away vacation days with lobster-red, swollen feet, unbending burnt knees—pain one should never experience on holiday. yet Lāhainā shows no remorse for its cruelty.

White sand, crashing waves
Ocean as far as the eye
can see, sun too hot


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